At
Rio Retreat Center at The Meadows, one of our most popular intensives
is the Love Addiction/Love Avoidance workshop. The people that attend
are often in severe Love
Addiction withdrawal—it is real and it is gut-wrenching. Or,
for those who are love avoidant, they have found that the pain of
enduring loneliness has superseded the fear of being consumed in a
relationship.
How
Your Love Life Replicates Childhood Dynamics
The
Meadows Senior Fellow Pia Mellody, author of Facing Love Addiction,
coined the terms “love addict” and “love avoidant” and
detected the cyclic dance between the two. Both of these conditions
are considered attachment disorders that are borne out of childhood
pain. Unintentionally, love addicts and love avoidants attract one
another like magnets.
Early
in treatment, Willow House at The Meadows therapists are able to
identify patterns in the patient’s love life, or lack thereof,
which replicate childhood dynamics. The therapists are able to turn
the patient’s attention from the most recent relationship
disappointment to childhood relational trauma. That is because
unconsciously we draw to us people that rupture our old wounding in
an effort to heal that wound.
The
love avoidant learns how, to be honest, and real with others and
develop healthy boundaries so they can safely engage without becoming
overwhelmed.
So,
what’s love got to do with it? Everything! Learning to love oneself
unconditionally and how to be real with and connect with others is
well worth the effort. It is truly the greatest gift one can attain
and give others.
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