For Americans working hard to perform well at
their jobs, the cost of success may come in the form of poor health, stress and burnout, an
issue many can tackle during National Stress Awareness month in April.
Roughly 63 percent of U.S. workers said they
regularly engage in unhealthy behaviors, such as drinking, to combat
work-related stress, according to a Statista survey of over 17,000 adults.
Though leaving stress behind at work may seem
difficult, happiness expert and Fortune 100 adviser Michelle Gielan says having
a more positive and optimistic life at home only requires minor tweaks to your
day-to-day habits.
"I don't think you need a major overhaul
in your life. You just need consistent, small habit changes to make a
difference," Gielan tells CNBC Make It. "If we don't stop to think
about the culture at home, there is a chance we're not creating an environment
that is actually the best it can be and make us the happiest possible."
Gielan founded the Institute for Applied
Positive Research along with her husband Shawn Achor, a former Harvard
University lecturer and fellow researcher on positive psychology. Over the past
11 years, they've trained companies and schools to be more positive through
their work as consultants at GoodThink.
In addition
to writing several of their own books, they have also worked with Oprah Winfrey
for an OWN Lifeclass course on happiness.
Even as renowned happiness experts, Gielan
says she and her husband recently felt stressed at home because of work.
"It was hard to watch him be stressed
and under the pressure of deadlines while also keeping up with things he had
going on in his life both professionally and personally," Gielan says.
"And then me as a spouse, to watch him feeling stressed, I felt helpless
oftentimes."
Here are the five simple steps Gielan says
they followed to create a stress-free environment at home.
Discuss the
issue with those you live with
Whether you, your partner or someone you
share a home with is stressed, Gielan recommends getting everyone together over
dinner or beers to sit and talk.
"This is a really important first step
because, through this conversation, you're identifying a challenge that
everyone is experiencing," Gielan says.
Today, 51 percent of Americans turn to their
family or friends when they feel stressed, while 38 percent try to withstand
the stress alone, according to another 2017 Statista survey.
This conversation will help those living
together create a new culture at home. For example, Gielan and her husband
decided there would be no more work talk after 5 p.m. or over the weekends.
"Talking through what that new culture
would look like can involve everyone in the process and invest them more deeply
in creating a more positive outcome," Gielan adds.
Use positive
visual cues
Whether it's the photos by your desk or an
inspiring quote by your nightstand, Gielan notes that visual cues are a
low-effort way to cheer yourself up.
"We often underestimate the value that
visual reminders can play in our lives," Gielan says.
These cues trigger your brain to think of a
good memory, she explains, which then elicits a positive emotion. The practice
can also help you form positive habits through anchoring, or creating an
automatic connection between two pieces of information.
For example, Gielan wanted her son to think
"I love reading," so she posted photos around the house of him
smiling while reading books. This eventually helped her son visually reinforce
the thought "I like to read."
Visual reminders can also show that you've
accomplished a goal in the past and are capable of doing so again.
Put the tech
away
Gielan's favorite step in decreasing stress at
home was putting tech away.
"Shawn and I both realized we
unconsciously grabbed our phones and were checking our email or social media,
which we didn't need to be doing at that moment," Gielan says.
To keep her from automatically reaching for
her phone, Gielan placed the device in a zip-top bag and tied a rubber band
around it.
"Every time I went for my phone, there
was more activation energy needed to be able to look at it and it served as a
reminder that hey, this isn't what you wanted to be doing, so just leave it in
the bag," she says.
On your laptop, you can put a sticky note on
it that says, "How about journaling?" or "How about going for a
run?" to put your mind toward that habit you want to create instead.
'Take a break'
Gielan says
it's key to take some downtime when you get home from work.
"Take a break — from the moment you walk
in the door through dinner — and be fully present," Gielan says.
"Engage in some rejuvenating activity because if you have to go back to
work later in the day, you're going to go back with a better mindset."
For example, Gielan says to avoid complaining
about work and recommends beginning a more positive conversation.
Instead of asking, "How was your
day?" where the response can head in any direction, Gielan says to ask a
leading question such as, "What was the best part of your day?" or
"What is the coolest thing you learned?"
"This prompts them to look for an answer
to fit the kind of question you're asking," Gielan says. "It also
encourages their brain to scan for the most positive or meaningful part of
their day and doesn't result in what a lot of us do, which is starting off with
the negative."
Get the
right amount of sleep
Gielan says sleep is crucial to avoiding
feeling stressed at home.
By getting more sleep, "you're setting
yourself up to have a better day," Gielan points out, given "the
brain processes things differently when it's low on resources."
"Unfortunately, corporate America tells
us that we need to work tons of hours all the time, but the reality is that our
bodies need to rest and rejuvenate in order to perform at its best," she
says.
Although getting seven to nine hours of sleep
a night might lessen time spent on work, Gielan says it's actually an
investment in our performance.
Once Gielan made these small changes in her
life, she says she experienced a greater sense of control over her life and
connection to her husband.
"It did wonders all around," she
says. "It led to an improvement in our relationship because his stress
decreased and I felt like I was being helpful."
Gielan adds, "He, in turn, helped me
feel accountable when I was not bagging up my technology and I felt like it was
good for our son as he watched the changes we were undergoing."
The changes
may not have been huge, but "they had huge results."
"I wasn't just subject to the demands of
the external world, I was more consciously creating the life that I wanted to
live," she says.
