Tips for Reaching Personal Growth and Development

Personal growth and development are important for any human being. It is the only way through which a person gets to know himself and others well. You can always attend personality development workshops which can help you become a better version of yourself over some time. The tips for achieving personal growth and development include self-acceptance which is the most important step of all. You also need to set clear cut goals in your life which are Specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound. Learn new things and move ahead in life by making modifications and improvements in your life wherever required. Meditation is equally important as it plays a great role in the development of one's personality. Lastly, learn to enjoy the smaller things in life just like you would enjoy the bigger ones.

6 Ways to Improve Mental Health Treatment for Men

By Dan Griffin, MA, Senior Fellow at The Meadows

• Address the ways that men’s socialization prevents them from connecting.
  
  The behaviors that are required of men in therapy and in recovery are contrary to what I refer to as “The Man Rules.” The Man Rules, the messages we learn as boys about how to be men, say don’t ask for help, don’t show feelings, don’t be vulnerable, don’t be weak, and whatever you do, don’t cry! And then we put men in therapeutic settings and ask – and even expect – them to do the opposite!

1. Create a culture of safety.
   
   No matter how a man acts when he first comes into your treatment program—apathetic, belligerent, sarcastic, or overly enthusiastic—you should think in terms of creating a safe environment for him. Men are unlikely to tell you that they are concerned about their emotional safety, but it is something that will be on their minds— if not consciously, then subconsciously. The lens through which you view his behavior will influence the way that you respond to him, which will, in turn, help him to behave differently. The entire culture of your treatment program or practice may begin to change as everyone; including staff in the organization begins to feel safer.
   
2. Speaking of trauma…
   
   Men are socialized not to see their experiences as trauma, and treatment providers also tend not to see their experiences as trauma. This is because at the heart of so much trauma-informed care lurks the idea of the male as perpetrator—and we don’t care about the trauma or healing of perpetrators.
   
3. Focus on relational competence
   
   The majority of the Man Rules are not about connection. In fact, they are about disconnection – from self and from others. Men who are affected by childhood trauma have even more trouble forming and maintaining intimate relationships. This is partly due to the fact that The Man Rules they are taught as boys do not provide a context in which they can learn to value connection, intimacy, and reciprocal relationships. Interpersonal skills like cooperation, seeing another’s perspective, expressing vulnerability, sharing feelings, and empathy do not tend to be part of what boys and men are encouraged to value and practice in their daily lives. As Brené Brown has beautifully pointed out, men can never be seen—or even experience themselves—as weak at any time. That mandate lives deeply inside so many men. That makes creating and staying in truly healthy relationships quite a challenge.
4. Break into small groups.
   
   Something I learned from my professional partner of many years, Rick Dauer: If you want men to open up, put them in small groups. I mean small groups, breaking the men out into sets of threes. The effect is transformative. Men who normally would fly under the radar or simply present as though they are less emotionally engaged will show up in a completely different way. The number three is important – two is too easily turned into a conversation and four can split into pairs or even easily leave one person out. But three? There is just something magical about that number.
5. Address Sex and Sexuality.
   
   Let’s not just talk about sex but talk about sexuality – the whole thing. A large percentage of men’s relapses are directly related to sex. Men commonly struggle with not feeling comfortable engaging in sex while sober, fear of sex, discomfort with themselves sexually, pain from sexual trauma, issues with body image. And, let’s not fail to mention men’s often problematic and unhealthy use of pornography while they are in treatment. As a practitioner, it’s important that you maintain an awareness of the impact that sex and love addiction have on men and all of their relationships. The Man Rules are deeply connected to sex serving as men’s primary – if not sole – vehicle for connection and intimacy. How can we NOT spend extensive time helping men create a healthy sense of their sex and sexuality?

Source Link- Rio Retreat Center

How to (Finally) Find Love in the New Year

 

By Tracy Harder, MSC, LAC, Workshop Therapist and Andrea Sauceda

Do you find yourself ending up in one painful, damaging, and disastrous relationship after another? Do you feel like a failure because you haven’t yet found true love?

Do you want to know the secret to finding your soul mate? Do you want to know how to find a person with whom you can live happily ever after in a perfect and blissfully all-consuming romantic relationship that books, songs, and movies have told us since we were kids that we are supposed to have?

The secret is… There is no secret. Those kinds of relationships don’t exist.

Intense and overwhelming feelings of “love at first sight” and the belief that the other person “completes you,” may actually just be delusions brought on by Love Addiction.

That sounds terribly cynical, doesn’t it? I don’t mean to say that true love—mature love—does not exist. It just means that you might have to do a little work to break through your addictive cycle before you can find it.

What is Love Addiction?

Love Addiction is characterized by feeling “high” during the initial phases of the relationship. Love Addicts often describe the feelings that come after a person has triggered their fantasy of an ideal mate as intensely pleasurable. They often make statements to the effect that this person is their “soulmate” or “love at first sight.” This person becomes the sole focus in their life, to the detriment of other relationships with children, friends, work, and self-care. Love Addicts will tolerate almost anything in the relationship due to a fear of being left.

Breaking Down the Wall of Seduction

Love Addicts are often drawn to people who are Love Avoidant. A Love Avoidant is drawn to a Love Addict’s neediness due to a belief that their role in a relationship is to take care of the other person. The Love Avoidant begins the relationship with a Wall of Seduction. In other words, they present as a “Super Woman” or “Super Man.” This Wall of Seduction impedes true intimacy.

Eventually, the Love Avoidant will become overwhelmed by the Love Addict’s neediness and will withdraw from the relationship by creating intensity outside of it, perhaps with work, a drug addiction, or another person.

Shattering the Fantasy

During the Love Addiction / Love Avoidant cycle, there typically is what Meadows Senior Fellow Pia Mellody describes as a “shattering event.” This event destroys the Love Addict’s fantasy about the Love Avoidant, throwing the Love Addict into withdrawal. The withdrawal results in extreme pain, fear, panic or even rage. Eventually, the Love Avoidant’s guilt or their own fear of abandonment may bring them back into the relationship with the Love Addict, and the cycle begins all over again.

This unhealthy cycle of behavior is unfortunately what often passes for “romance” and “love” in our society, but in reality, it is neither. It is addiction, relationship compulsivity, and a fear of love and intimacy.

A “healthy” relationship after recovery from love addiction and/or love avoidance (and yes, there can be recovery) involves what Pia refers to as “mature love.” Mature love involves loving a person “warts and all” and not leaving them or punishing them because they cannot fully embody your fantasy. A healthy relationship requires realistic expectations that are discussed openly and honestly, especially at the initial stages of the relationship.

For the Love Addict in recovery, it involves getting rid of their fantasy of the ideal mate and not demanding unconditional positive regard, self-sacrifice, and care at all times from the other person. For the Love Avoidant, it begins with coming out from behind their walls and letting their partner see who they really are.

Love addiction and Love Avoidance can occur not only with romantic partners but also with friends, children, bosses, etc.

Source Link:- Rio Retreat Center

Behavioral Health Workshops

Source Link: Rio Retreat Bunkhouse

The Rio Retreat Bunkhouse is designed to be conducive to the process of healing and recovery. Book your stay at The Bunkhouse when you register for your workshop for added convenience, and more immersive healing environment.
Bunkhouse lodging is available on a first come, first serve basis; early registration is recommended.

Rooms and Accommodations

The rooms at The Bunkhouse are purposely free of the distractions that often accompany hotel lodging such as TVs and phones. Rooms are very simply furnished with two twin beds, storage space, an alarm clock, and luggage stand. All rooms have their own private bathroom.
Bunkhouse occupants will have access to the swimming pool during certain hours. Modest bathing suits are required.
A Sunday evening snack will be provided. Meals will be provided from Monday morning through Noon on Friday.

 

Cost

$565 including tax in addition to the workshop cost. This includes lodging in a Double-Occupancy Room.
If you’d like to request a single occupancy room, the cost is $1,000 for the length of stay.
Individuals will be paired with another workshop attendee of the same sex except for instances where couples attending a couple’s workshop are allowed to room together. (Couples are not allowed to room together for the Discovery to Recovery workshop.)

 

Check-in and Check-out

Length of stay is from Sunday evening through Friday morning.
Check-in on Sunday is from 5:00 p.m – 9:00 p.m.
Check-out is on Friday in the morning before the workshop sessions.
On the day of check-out, participants will be asked to bring a lock for their suitcase which can be left in the room while they finish the workshop. The lock is required as rooms will be serviced during the day on Friday.