Healing Heartache: A Grief And Loss Workshop

Healing Heartache: A Grief And Loss Workshop provides a safe, sacred for participants to lean into the grief, which facilitates the healing. Loss can come in many forms including death of a loved one, loss of one's health, relationship losses, major life changes, lost opportunities, etc. During this 5-day workshop:

 

• Cumulative loss over the life cycle will be examined,
• Myths and inaccurate messages about grief will be dispelled, helping to normalize feelings,
• Thinking processes and patterns of destructive behavior following trauma or loss will be explored
• Feelings and words left unsaid will be released through experiential exercises,
• Issues pertaining to relational problems will be addressed, with an emphasis on recognizing emotional reactions to loss, trauma, and broken dreams,
• Resources will be offered to assist participants in moving forward, and
• Psycho-education on grief and recovery will be provided, offering hope for the future.

To register, or for more information, call 866-835-5431.

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How to get deal with grief? – Counseling for grief in Arizona

Grief is a part of life and more we avoid it, more we suffer. If we do not grieve, we are tending to be emotionally weaker. People who do not feel pain are said to be the most vulnerable people. The vulnerability could change into addiction and disorders.

Thus, Rio Retreat – center for grief counseling in Arizona. At Rio retreat, workshops are created to heal the pain. There is no such concept as “ONE SIZE FITS ALL” when it comes to grief. Every person heals in his own way at proper time.

 

However, following are the ways to deal with grief and loss:

1. Identify and acknowledge:

If you identify the source of grief and acknowledge it rather that ignoring it, you will feel lesser need to grieve and you will heal. There are times when we do not let ourselves break down but that is incorrect. Try to identify all the situations and manipulate them, which bring up sadness or pain for you.

2. Cry your eyes out:

One of the best reasons to grieve is to cry your heart out. This will lighten up your mood. Not crying will give you anger and addictions that will harm you even more. Do not think about others and just cry yourself to the point where you certainly don’t cry for the same reason again.

3. Talk, Talk, Talk:

Most of the problems vanish by talking. Take the help of the counselor and talk to him about your grief. Talking and crying reduces 90% of the problems and will save you from indulging into alcohol or drug practices. There are many health care centers providing counseling for grief in Arizona. Contact them and you will definitely find a good solution to your grief.

These are the healing modes that work out. Embrace your grief rather than ignoring it. It will reduce your pain rather than increasing it.

How God Shows Up in Recovery

It’s Totally a God Thing

I am frequently delighted by the many ways God shows up when people are on their healing journeys. When I refer to “God,” I am referring to Spirit, the Universe, Nature, the Soul, our Inner Light—or any other term we might use for a divine sense of connection with something greater than us. And when I refer to God “showing up,” I’m talking about the awe-inspiring things that happen to us that seem to be more than mere coincidence.

 

“That was totally a God thing!” is the phrase I frequently use to express my amazement when I experience those unplanned events that couldn’t be more perfect if they had been carefully planned. I see the perfect mix of strangers based on their traits and backgrounds come together in a group and have unbelievably powerful experiences. They may finally see their partner’s point of view in someone’s story, or understand the depth of their parents’ own trauma leading to freedom to forgive. This often feels to me like more than a random gathering of folks; it feels like there’s an invisible influence shaping our experiences.

I also experience it as very subtle divine guidance when I have an idea for an intervention that isn’t even logical. I recently suggested that someone do some work with her addict self. She gave me a look of pure shock. This woman had been in solid recovery for more than 8 years. There was no logical reason for my suggestion. I couldn’t say why I thought of this process because it didn’t make sense.

But, when she put her addict self in the chair in front of her, she was very real. And when she sat in that chair and felt that part of her that was still alive and well in her, she was able to truly release guilt and shame and bring that part into recovery. She later shared that she would have never thought it in a million years, but that was the piece that was missing in her healing work.

It was totally a God thing.

I feel that this kind of experience must happen in recovery programs in general and in all of The Meadows programs, but we definitely get to experience it strongly in our workshops at The Rio Retreat Center.

The Survivors II workshop is open for participants to continue with another layer of childhood trauma work, adult trauma, relationship issues, addictions, etc. If you feel inspired or “guided” to continue your healing journey, it may be the workshop for you.

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Why We Grieve: The Importance of Mourning Loss

Grief and Loss Workshop at The Rio Retreat Center

Healing Heartache: A Grief And Loss Workshop provides a safe, sacred for participants to lean into the grief, which facilitates the healing. Loss can come in many forms including death of a loved one, loss of one's health, relationship losses, major life changes, lost opportunities, etc. During this 5-day workshop:

• Cumulative loss over the life cycle will be examined,
• Myths and inaccurate messages about grief will be dispelled, helping to normalize feelings,
• Thinking processes and patterns of destructive behavior following trauma or loss will be explored
• Feelings and words left unsaid will be released through experiential exercises,
• Issues pertaining to relational problems will be addressed, with an emphasis on recognizing emotional reactions to loss, trauma, and broken dreams,
• Resources will be offered to assist participants in moving forward, and
• Psycho-education on grief and recovery will be provided, offering hope for the future.

To register, or for more information, call 866-986-3225.

Note: This article originally appeared on The Huffington Post

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Tied Up In Knots: The Anxiety of Living with Unresolved Grief

Grief that is out in the open, that is part of the natural cycle of life or part of one of life’s tragic circumstances has a dignity to it. The person experiencing a loss feels that they have a right to grieve and to accept caring and attention from those they love.

However, the kinds of losses that accompany issues such as addiction do not necessarily command the respect of others nor does the person experiencing the loss necessarily feel a right to the support they long for.

But there is another kind of loss that we need to attend to as well, one that is less easy to see, that also needs mourning. The loss of self.

The losses that so often accompany addiction whether from being an addict or living with addiction roll out from year to year in a never ending cycle, they lack a clear beginning, middle and end. These are losses that may have been buried under years of denial and obfuscation, losses that went unrecognized, that became disenfranchised or thrown out of conscious awareness. In addition to a loss of self might be a loss of safety, of a comfortable childhood, or of the feeling that we were seen and heard by those we depended upon. A loss of the space held safe in which to grow up. In these cases, people may be at risk for acting out the pain that they do not properly see themselves, not necessarily because they refuse to acknowledge it, but because their feelings surrounding these almost invisible losses are so confusing and difficult to find and feel. They have been neatly hidden under days gone by, the child who was not seen or listened to becomes the adult who cannot see or hear himself.

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Find Your Pot of Gold

Achieving change and self-actualization does not have to be as elusive as finding a pot of gold.

Whether you're struggling with the impact of an emotional childhood trauma, grieving a loss, wanting to repair family dynamics, or simply want to develop a greater sense of self, the Rio Retreat Center at The Meadows has a workshop that will fit your needs.
 
All of the Rio Retreat Center's workshops are facilitated by licensed and certified professionals. Our experts have experience helping individuals identify the root causes for their negative behaviors and provides them with the tools necessary to transform their lives and begin making productive decisions.

If cost is a concern, you’re in luck!

Register for a 5-day workshop before March 31, and receive a $500 discount. (Some exclusions do apply.)
Find full workshop descriptions, dates, and registration information on The Rio Retreat Center website or download a printable workshop catalog.

Source Link:- Grief Counseling Arizona

Signs that You Need Help for Sex Addiction

Are my sexual behaviors really that bad?

Just like any addiction, sexual addiction can occur on a continuum of severity. On one end of the spectrum is the person who has caused physical harm to themselves or others or who has gotten into legal trouble for their sexual behaviors. On the other end is the person who hides their behaviors and feels shame about them but has not really suffered any external or visible consequences as a result.

While a person who has suffered more consequences might be more likely to admit they have a problem, it is not necessary to let things get that far before seeking help. No one thinks that they will ever go “that far,” or that their addiction will get out of control. Almost everyone feels somewhat surprised when they find themselves neck deep in dire consequences from their sexual behaviors, having believed that they would somehow avoid the inevitable. It is possible, and wise to stop before it gets to that point.

How do I know if I have an addiction?

There are three common characteristics of addiction: obsession, compulsion, and continuation despite adverse consequences.

Obsession refers to the intrusive and sometimes never-ending thoughts about the behavior. Obsession could mean that a person constantly thinks about the behavior; but, more often, it simply means the obsessive thoughts come at times that are inconvenient, inappropriate, or distracting and that it is difficult to stop the thoughts when they do arrive. The thoughts can be about the actual sexual behavior or about some aspect of the behavior. People might obsess about a person that they act out with, a place where they have acted out, (a hotel, car, or certain club) a plan to act out, or something that they use in their acting out (website, flowers, secret phone) or even about plans to enable their acting out (checking funds, making reservations, thinking of excuses of why they will be home late).

Compulsion refers to the engagement in the behavior despite efforts to not engage. A person who makes sincere promises that they will discontinue the behavior, then finds excuses to continue doing it in spite of those promises is typically acting on a compulsion. Another common example of a compulsive behavior is when a person knows they have made a prior commitment to be somewhere, like at a family function, but they feel they must act out sexually and they do, making them late for the function or making them miss it entirely. Ultimately, compulsive behaviors will lead to adverse consequences; however, adverse consequences alone do not necessarily mean that an addiction is present. Some people engage in a behavior, suffer an undesirable consequence, and then never engage in that behavior again. But, when someone continues the behavior after suffering consequences, it indicates a more severe problem.

Imagine a person who compulsively views pornography. Their children find the digital files, and their spouse becomes very angry and insists that all the pornographic images be deleted from the computers in their home. Instead, the person downloads the images onto a flash drive, labels it “Architecture Plans,” and continues to watch it, hoping the children will be deterred by the label.

This is a continuation of behavior despite adverse external consequences and puts this person at risk for further undesirable outcomes. Internal consequences are just as important as external consequences but are often less obvious than external ones. Internal consequences include, but are not limited to, feelings of intense shame, intense self-hatred, isolation, and secrecy. Adverse external and/or internal consequences are usually what motivate the person to seek help.

Do I need help?

Adverse consequences have a unique way of offering a moment of clarity. A person may be willing to admit to themselves that they need help after suffering a consequence. Or they may be willing to get help, even if they are not sure they need it because, at a minimum, they want to avoid further painful consequences. There are also times when a person might seek help just to appease a loved one, their employer, or the courts.

Regardless of the reason, if the person receiving help is open to looking at the potential causes of their behavior and its consequences, they will reap the benefits of treatment. If you have suffered consequences for your sexual behaviors, particularly repeated consequences, the time to seek help is now.

Still have doubts?

When a person experiences consequences, it usually leads to a bit of an emotional crisis. There is a strong desire for the pain to stop. When the pain of consequences leads a person to make the wise decision to seek help, denial can sometimes step in and offer a second opinion. After the crisis of the consequence fades, decisions to seek help are occasionally rescinded. That call for help might seem like a “rash decision” or an “overreaction.” Do not allow yourself to fall back into the denial. Get the help you need. Your future self will thank you.

What are my options for help?

Rio Retreat at The Meadows offers two different 5-day workshops, one exclusively for men and one exclusively for women, that helps people begin to deal with their sexual compulsivity or sexual addiction.

The Men’s Sexual Compulsivity Workshop helps men to broaden participants’ views about sexuality, learn how to have healthy sexual experiences, maintain positive relationships, and avoid harmful patterns of the past.

The Journey of a Woman’s Heart: Finding True Intimacy Workshop is for women who want to explore unhealthy sexual patterns and behaviors that deeply impact their ability to develop real emotional connections. Methods for enhancing self-esteem from within, rather than seeking validation from outside sources are explored

The Meadows also offers inpatient treatment programs for sexual addiction and compulsivity. Gentle Path at The Meadows is exclusively for men and Willow House at The Meadows is exclusively for women. All of our programs are firmly based in the work of Dr. Patrick Carnes and his 30-task model. Please call our Intake Department at 866-986-3225 to begin the healing process and find out which program is best for you.

Source Link: Sex Addiction Treatment Arizona

Don’t Carry Shame into The New Year

Have you ever sent the wrong text message to the exact wrong person? I have. In fact, I did it recently. I sent a message about a person TO THAT person—the horror! The consequence? Well, besides being cut from that person’s Christmas card list, I suffered a complete and utter shame attack.

In Facing Codependence, Pia Mellody describes a shame attack as feeling “as though your body is getting smaller. You may blush, want to disappear, run away, or crawl under your chair. It seems that everyone is looking at you. Feeling nauseated, dizzy, or spacey is also common” (p.103). I can vouch for this: I curled up in the fetal position and wanted the ground to swallow me up. Not dramatic at all…

Mellody explains that a shame attack occurs when we encounter “carried shame.” Carried shame is induced into us from various types of traumas and abuses experienced in childhood. It diminishes our ability to experience self-worth and value and causes us to feel perpetually less than other people.

This carried shame forms the basis for the first symptom of codependence: “difficulty experiencing appropriate levels of self-esteem…and is…the heart of codependence. And this is why codependence is called a shame-based disease” (Mellody, p.105 ).

Therefore, it is my New Year’s resolution to never send a text message to the wrong person ever again and avoid shame attacks from here on out.

OK, I’m joking.

My New Year’s resolution is to get better at practicing what I preach as a therapist. I want to continue to actively work on my carried shame that is at the core of my codependence.

So, I have made the decision and taken the necessary steps to continue with my recovery and progress made during my week at The Survivors I Workshop at The Rio Retreat Center, so that the next time I send the wrong text I can say “oops, my bad” instead of “I’m bad, take me now oh, Text Gods.”

Facing Childhood Trauma to Overcome Shame

The Survivors I: Healing Childhood Trauma Workshop is based on The Meadows Senior Fellow Pia Mellody’s pioneering work in her book, Facing Codependence. It is an essential component of The Meadows inpatient treatment program and is also open to interested individuals as a stand-alone workshop.

In a safe supportive environment, Survivors I explores the origins that fuel self-defeating behaviors such as addictions, trauma, mood disorders, and troubling relationships. The primary focus of this workshop is processing and releasing the negative messages and emotions that were rooted in painful experiences from the past allowing the freedom to embody your authentic self. For more information, or to register, call 866-244-4949 or email us.

Source Link – Center for Healing Childhood Trauma

How to (Finally) Find Love in the New Year

 

By Tracy Harder, MSC, LAC, Workshop Therapist and Andrea Sauceda

Do you find yourself ending up in one painful, damaging, and disastrous relationship after another? Do you feel like a failure because you haven’t yet found true love?

Do you want to know the secret to finding your soul mate? Do you want to know how to find a person with whom you can live happily ever after in a perfect and blissfully all-consuming romantic relationship that books, songs, and movies have told us since we were kids that we are supposed to have?

The secret is… There is no secret. Those kinds of relationships don’t exist.

Intense and overwhelming feelings of “love at first sight” and the belief that the other person “completes you,” may actually just be delusions brought on by Love Addiction.

That sounds terribly cynical, doesn’t it? I don’t mean to say that true love—mature love—does not exist. It just means that you might have to do a little work to break through your addictive cycle before you can find it.

What is Love Addiction?

Love Addiction is characterized by feeling “high” during the initial phases of the relationship. Love Addicts often describe the feelings that come after a person has triggered their fantasy of an ideal mate as intensely pleasurable. They often make statements to the effect that this person is their “soulmate” or “love at first sight.” This person becomes the sole focus in their life, to the detriment of other relationships with children, friends, work, and self-care. Love Addicts will tolerate almost anything in the relationship due to a fear of being left.

Breaking Down the Wall of Seduction

Love Addicts are often drawn to people who are Love Avoidant. A Love Avoidant is drawn to a Love Addict’s neediness due to a belief that their role in a relationship is to take care of the other person. The Love Avoidant begins the relationship with a Wall of Seduction. In other words, they present as a “Super Woman” or “Super Man.” This Wall of Seduction impedes true intimacy.

Eventually, the Love Avoidant will become overwhelmed by the Love Addict’s neediness and will withdraw from the relationship by creating intensity outside of it, perhaps with work, a drug addiction, or another person.

Shattering the Fantasy

During the Love Addiction / Love Avoidant cycle, there typically is what Meadows Senior Fellow Pia Mellody describes as a “shattering event.” This event destroys the Love Addict’s fantasy about the Love Avoidant, throwing the Love Addict into withdrawal. The withdrawal results in extreme pain, fear, panic or even rage. Eventually, the Love Avoidant’s guilt or their own fear of abandonment may bring them back into the relationship with the Love Addict, and the cycle begins all over again.

This unhealthy cycle of behavior is unfortunately what often passes for “romance” and “love” in our society, but in reality, it is neither. It is addiction, relationship compulsivity, and a fear of love and intimacy.

A “healthy” relationship after recovery from love addiction and/or love avoidance (and yes, there can be recovery) involves what Pia refers to as “mature love.” Mature love involves loving a person “warts and all” and not leaving them or punishing them because they cannot fully embody your fantasy. A healthy relationship requires realistic expectations that are discussed openly and honestly, especially at the initial stages of the relationship.

For the Love Addict in recovery, it involves getting rid of their fantasy of the ideal mate and not demanding unconditional positive regard, self-sacrifice, and care at all times from the other person. For the Love Avoidant, it begins with coming out from behind their walls and letting their partner see who they really are.

Love addiction and Love Avoidance can occur not only with romantic partners but also with friends, children, bosses, etc.

Source Link:- Rio Retreat Center