The Trauma/Addiction Cycle

Addiction and trauma are interrelated. The blog checks out how they are a vicious circle and each of them depend on the other. Trauma leads to addiction and addiction leads to more trauma and more trauma eventually leads to more and more addiction. These are two inter-dependent problems and needs to be treated together. The primary problems related to trauma addiction involved substance addiction and traumatic experiences in the past. At times, when parents start comparing their kids among each other or if one of the kid is not doing well in life and is getting addicted to self-medication or if there is some kind of long term injury this can lead to trauma and addiction. Besides, kids being overly subjected to traumatic experiences in their childhood also leads to them being addicted and traumatized. People need to accept themselves and not try to be the better version of themselves due to parental or societal pressure. Only then they would be able to recover and heal themselves.

A Unique Equine Experience

Content Source : Trauma Retreat Centers

"The Spirit Equine program of Colleen DeRango and Buddy Uldrickson is at the forefront of therapies for trauma and the healing of emotional wounds. Buddy’s calm, centered, presence, his immense horsemanship, and Colleen’s organic mastery of Somatic Experiencing™ have partnered to create a magical and transformative experience. I recommend this powerful program without reservation."

~ Peter A Levine, PhD, Developer of Somatic Experiencing , Senior Fellow and clinical consultant for the Meadows and author of Waking the Tiger and In an Unspoken Voice

Details

This workshop is held on a scenic rustic ranch in Wickenburg, AZ. Attendees will not be riding; they will be provided at time of registration with a list of what to bring. This workshop runs Monday through Friday, from 7:15 a.m. to 4:00 p.m., with an hour lunch break. A Five- and Three-day workshop options that runs 7:15 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. are available.

How Therapists Can Help Couples Cross the Threshold of Vulnerability

One of the topics emerging in the field of sex addiction and partner trauma right now is the idea of couples crossing the threshold of vulnerability again after betrayal. The addiction treatment field and partner trauma field have made great strides in keeping addicts in recovery and making sure that partners are finally feeling heard and validated. Both the addicted partners and the betrayed partners are making tremendous progress in the core tasks that are required to get them back on a level playing field emotionally, where the addict is no longer keeping secrets, the partner feels validated, and amends are made.

Though we’ve done well in helping each partner within a couple on an individual basis, we are just beginning to apply modalities that help couples to heal together. Both couples and therapists seem to be struggling with how to begin that process.

What Does It Take to Trust Again?

“Can I trust you again?” is the question that is top of mind as couples begin to take steps toward reconnecting. It’s a matter of being willing to cross the threshold of vulnerability again, and there’s no easy way to do that. It’s an act of courage.

One of the things the couple has to do is make a decision about whether they are going to move forward or not. So many couples are stuck in a phase of indecision. They decide not to leave each other, which is not the same as deciding to move forward in vulnerability again. I think as therapists we need to start examining ways to support couples in making the decision to stay and truly move forward or go. When therapists meet their betrayed client’s primary concern—“If I trust him again, am I going to get betrayed again?”— they often resort back to “the individual as client” modality. They begin to focus on the old narrative of the betrayal and making sure the addict stays in recovery. If the couple feels helpless and frustrated the therapist often does too. They then inadvertently move away from a couple’s paradigm and into an individual client paradigm where they end up rehearsing and reinvigorating the old strategies the couple used for coping with the pain of the betrayal. Many of these paradigms are helpful on an individual basis, but they don’t help them move into vulnerability again as a couple.

Therapists don’t lead enough discussions about how the partners can make a new decision about moving forward as a couple.

One of the critical pieces in making the decision to move forward in vulnerability is helping the couple grieve the loss of the first romance together. Because, the truth of the matter is that once there has been a betrayal, the first romance is over. It is not the same anymore and will not be the same again. That is often a painful reality for both the addict and their partner to face.

I designed a couples workshop at The Meadows that guides couples through the grieving process. It is incredibly powerful. Couples do an art therapy project where they say goodbye to their first marriage. They also destroy a symbol of their first marriage, then take the pieces and reformed them into another object that represents their moving forward. Saying goodbye to the first marriage and making a new decision about what moving forward would look life for them, has proven to be exactly what most of the couples require to truly begin to heal together.

Content Source: Couples Retreat Az

Tied Up In Knots: The Anxiety of Living with Unresolved Grief

Grief that is out in the open, that is part of the natural cycle of life or part of one of life’s tragic circumstances has a dignity to it. The person experiencing a loss feels that they have a right to grieve and to accept caring and attention from those they love.

However, the kinds of losses that accompany issues such as addiction do not necessarily command the respect of others nor does the person experiencing the loss necessarily feel a right to the support they long for.

But there is another kind of loss that we need to attend to as well, one that is less easy to see, that also needs mourning. The loss of self.

The losses that so often accompany addiction whether from being an addict or living with addiction roll out from year to year in a never ending cycle, they lack a clear beginning, middle and end. These are losses that may have been buried under years of denial and obfuscation, losses that went unrecognized, that became disenfranchised or thrown out of conscious awareness. In addition to a loss of self might be a loss of safety, of a comfortable childhood, or of the feeling that we were seen and heard by those we depended upon. A loss of the space held safe in which to grow up. In these cases, people may be at risk for acting out the pain that they do not properly see themselves, not necessarily because they refuse to acknowledge it, but because their feelings surrounding these almost invisible losses are so confusing and difficult to find and feel. They have been neatly hidden under days gone by, the child who was not seen or listened to becomes the adult who cannot see or hear himself.

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Couples Bootcamp: Working It Out In The Desert

Corrine and Joe have been married for seven years. This marriage is the second one for both of them. They elected to attend Couples Boot Camp to “improve our communication and resolve ongoing arguments about the amount of time we spend together.”

 

While each of them proclaims their love for the other, they also have different expectations about what coupleship looks like in terms of quality personal time vs. family time, and the issues are causing a rift that invites bickering and further withdrawal.

Consider this: Your partner’s behavior isn’t what drives you crazy. Your own brain is.

What you learned about relationships likely came from interactions, dysfunction, and traumas you experienced in your family of origin. You may often hear the strident voice of your immature brain reminding you of the less-than-ideal things you may have learned about the way adult couples are supposed to treat as you navigate your relationship with your partner. Rob complains that Jennifer is so reticent and depressed that he has lost hope that he can be enough for her. He is weary of being the cheerleader and counselor to her. Jennifer admits she has low self-esteem and counters that Rob’s constant nagging and criticism have worn her down. Both come from family backgrounds of addiction and emotional abuse. They aren’t sure they can remain together; however, both recognize that their unresolved issues will likely carry over to any future partners. They state that Boot Camp may be their last resort to stay together.

At this workshop, participants learn that they are not so much addressing their partner’s behavior as they are reacting to unaddressed family of origin wounds. When they stop projecting their past relational disappointments onto their spouse or partner, the path becomes clear for a more rewarding, intimate coupleship. Boot Camp process includes exploring family of origin roles and dysfunctional messages that individuals carry into their committed relationships.

Marilee and Jason have been together since high school. They acknowledge that they argue and “fight like we are still 16 years old.” As their 29th anniversary draws near, they wonder if they have simply outgrown each other or will they be able to redefine the relationship from a new perspective as life-long partners. They value the comfort and joy their children and grandchildren give them but dread the thought of spending the rest of their lives unhappily married to each other. Their objective at Boot Camp is to find a way to restart the marriage as mid-life adults.

This workshop curriculum invites exploration of skewed relationship thinking and offers respectful solution-finding to unresolved and/or repetitive relational issues. Couples find that this supportive environment is a safe place to examine difficulties within their relationship. Because the participants reduce areas of shame and open up previously-closed dialog, they learn through guided processes to problem-solve together and mediate agreeable solutions. Among other communication tools, healthy boundaries and limit-setting are introduced as effective strategies for bringing couples to a higher level of trust and intimacy. “Aha!” moments are not uncommon throughout this week.

Workshops are held for two to three couples at a time. The benefits of positive and supportive feedback from the group peers are plentiful. Among them:

• couples realize that they are not alone in their relational issues; others have the same problems;
• hearing viewpoints of several different facets can shed light on a previously murky solution;
• genuine, positive regard among all the participants can bring healing in unexpected ways for other areas of wounding.

If you are open to learning more about yourself, your beloved, and the life path you both share, Couples Boot Camp may serve as the relationship experience you seek. For more information or to enroll in a Couples Bootcamp call the Intake Department at 1-866-986-3225.

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Find Your Pot of Gold

Achieving change and self-actualization does not have to be as elusive as finding a pot of gold.

Whether you're struggling with the impact of an emotional childhood trauma, grieving a loss, wanting to repair family dynamics, or simply want to develop a greater sense of self, the Rio Retreat Center at The Meadows has a workshop that will fit your needs.
 
All of the Rio Retreat Center's workshops are facilitated by licensed and certified professionals. Our experts have experience helping individuals identify the root causes for their negative behaviors and provides them with the tools necessary to transform their lives and begin making productive decisions.

If cost is a concern, you’re in luck!

Register for a 5-day workshop before March 31, and receive a $500 discount. (Some exclusions do apply.)
Find full workshop descriptions, dates, and registration information on The Rio Retreat Center website or download a printable workshop catalog.

Source Link:- Grief Counseling Arizona